Apple’s ‘F1’ tactics are a one-way ticket to disaster

Apple’s ongoing fight with regulators over App Store rules can get pretty confusing at times. Sometimes it’s hard to know whether regulators are being over-zealous in their required changes, or when Apple’s rules are simply patently unfair.

But this week we have good news! At least one issue is a lot simpler because we now have the perfect example of why Apple’s anti-steering policy and the company’s subsequent ham-fisted efforts to…

Wait, is it a mixed metaphor to say “hamstring” here or is it just chef’s kiss kind of perfect? Ham-fisted means the company is being rough and imprecise in its dealings, much as if it had honey-baked hams for hands. Hamstringing is when you cut someone’s knee tendons, known as the hamstrings, in order to impede them.

So, Apple is clumsily attempting to impede developers. Verdict: not mixing metaphors.

What was the Macalope saying?

Oh, Apple’s ham-fisted efforts to hamstring developers’ using payment methods outside the App Store by throwing up warning messages is nothing but fear-mongering.

And since it was brought to us by a small company you may not have heard of, let the Macalope just put on some novelty-sized glasses and pretend to be reading the name off a long, perforated sheet of green and white dot matrix printer paper as if he is a scientist in a ‘70s disaster film…

Says “Apple”. Huh.

That can’t be right.

Ah, but it is.

As MG Siegler first noted on Threads last week (tip o’ the antlers to Daring Fireball), Apple has been caught not practicing as it preached. And not mildly but in a more “televangelist who preaches against the perils of liquor not only gets caught drunk driving but is later found to own a craft bourbon distillery on the side” kind of way.

As part of its “F1 – The Movie” marketing blitz, Apple put full-screen ads for buying tickets to the movie in the TV app on iOS 18. That’s gross enough coming on the heels of Apple basically putting notifications about the movie everywhere but, well, the Macalope was going to say Pages but honestly, he’s not sure the company didn’t put “F1” notifications in Pages. To make matters worse, however, clicking the link to buy tickets in the ad sent users to a purchase page in a way that is remarkably devoid of any of the kinds of warnings about buying things on the web that Apple is forcing developers to put in their apps when they do exactly the same thing.

These are the requirements that Apple is currently appealing a 500 million Euro fine for inflicting on developers.

The European Commission announced the fine in April under its Digital Markets Act, saying that the iPhone maker ran afoul of rules related to allowing developers to steer users to make purchases outside of its store. 

If the EU’s lawyers have not taken note of Apple apparent nonchalance with the having of cake and also being able to eat it, they might want to jot down some notes.

According to Apple:

…the EC is mandating how we run our store and forcing business terms which are confusing for developers and bad for users.

As opposed to the very non-confusing terms Apple is mandating, which require all kinds of warnings when being directed to purchase digital goods via a website but not needing any when doing the same for physical goods.

Mmmkay.

Also, it’s literally the job of the EC to tell companies how to run their businesses in its member nations. So, complaining about it mandating how you run your store is like complaining about a home plate umpire keeping track of balls and strikes.

It is ironic that it is the company’s over-the-top push on “F1” that is tripping it up. Hey, we tried to tell Apple the “F1” promotions were over the top. It wouldn’t listen. Much like on the anti-steering policy.