GM shifts into stupidity with its CarPlay strategy

Apple shouldn’t feel too bad about not being able to figure out cars. It doesn’t seem like the CEO of GM has figured them out, either.

In an interview conducted by The Verge, GM CEO Mary Barra indicated the company would be doubling down on its plan to give customers a lousy user experience, claiming its decision to ditch CarPlay was:

…a very Jobsian approach to things.

He could be very aggravating, yes. The Macalope assumes that’s what you were talking about.

CEOs love to compare themselves to Steve Jobs. Years ago, the Macalope worked at a place where the new CEO said he wanted to make the company the Apple of its industry. Without going into it too much, just consider it a sign of an executive who has probably been promoted beyond their ability to lead. He did not last long.

But let’s hear Barra out about this Jobs comparison.

The removal of the disk drive, nobody liked that…

I’m sorry, what are we talking about?

…everybody on the forums and Facebook was complaining about it…

The forums. And Facebook. Complaints about disk drives. What is happening right now?

…but to that he said, “Look, guys, flash storage really is the future. Get on board, you’ll see that.”

The masses were crying out for spinning hard drives? Was the Macalope off planet when that happened? Most everyone the Macalope knows was dying to get flash storage. Did someone tell Barra to bring up Apple removing the floppy drive, and she said, “Hard drives! Got it!”

You’ve certainly got an iPhone, you’ve probably got a MacBook…

Maybe an iPad. An Apple TV. An Apple Music account. A HomePod. It’s almost as if Apple stuff takes up more of your life than our cars do, as if you’re more invested in it and more used to it from a user experience point of view.

Wait, what was I saying?

…and you have the opportunity to use phone projection on your MacBook…

That is not what it is called. See, “iPhone projection” is when an automobile industry CEO wrongly thinks her company’s user experience is on the same level as that of the single most important consumer product of all time.

That’s “iPhone projection”.

…a phone mirroring application.

Almost what it’s called, but still wrong.

How many of you are accessing online services like email, social media, and otherwise through the phone projection app in your laptop?

How many of you are using iPhone Mirroring to draw false equivalences? At least one person, who just happens to be the CEO of GM.

If you’re on a Mac, you’re already using an Apple product, one that’s tied into all your accounts and subscriptions. You don’t need to use iPhone Mirroring (that’s what it’s called, for the record) to do that.

The Macalope is not sure you know how analogies work.

Now, take that same analog to the car and ask the same question.

It makes sense for the driving parts of the experience to be intrinsically tied to the car; that’s the only place you use them. It makes no sense for the user to have to shift thinking about how they play music or podcasts, send texts, make calls, or set reminders in this one context and no other context of their lives, all as they’re driving 70 miles an hour down the freeway.

So we said, “We’re taking out the disk drive, guys; get on board with flash storage, that’s where the future is.”

Still doesn’t make any sense, no matter how many times you say it!

When asked by host Nilay Patel if GM’s gas cars would be going the same way as its EVs in eschewing CarPlay, Barra responded:

As we get to a major rollout, I think that’s the right expectation. Yes.

The Macalope was going to say that Barra’s expectation then should be that the horny one will never buy a GM car, but he was probably not going to buy one anyway. Now, however, he doesn’t even want to rent one.

GM followed up on the conversation by stating that no changes would be made to cars that have already been sold, so there’s no need to drive your Enclave through the window of a Buick dealer.

Yet, anyway.

To be clear, GM’s car operating system, formerly known as “Utilifi,” has nothing to do with giving its customers a better user experience. It’s about milking them for more money.

…apps will be offered by GM, such as paid vehicle comfort and convenience features…

Moving your seat back will cost 20 GM coins, but you can get a bag of 100 coins for a discount.

…the automaker will have a revenue-sharing model for paid apps developed by outside companies.

They want an app store. That’s what this is about.

Okay, finally, the “Jobsian” part Barra talked about. Got it.